All for a Tree

For the last few years, Davina and I have driven about thirty minutes outside of Jackson to a Christmas tree farm and picked out our own, live Christmas tree. This year we decided to do it again. Our schedules are pretty packed, so anytime during the week is out and that only leaves Saturday or Sunday. And since Sunday is Favre's day (oh, I mean the Lord's day) we can't do it then. There was only one problem with this past Saturday: Davina had signed us up for birthing classes. That's right: all day, 9-3. In this class, we learned about all the great things that happen to the body while it is pregnant. We even got to see a live birth on tape. And that's something I never, ever, ever, ever want to see again. I had balked at the idea of this class all week, but Davina wanted to go, so we went. Well, about an hour and a half into it, Davina realized it was a waste of time (and money), so we started making our plans for the rest of the afternoon.

We finished the class at three and headed for the Christmas tree farm. We got there about 3:45 and started on our quest for the tree. For some reason, Davina wanted a Virginia pine instead of a White pine. Well, actually the reason was that a Virginia pine would fit in front of our dining room window better than a White pine. I, of course, preferred the White pine. After about twenty minutes of discussing this decision and changing our minds, we decided on the White pine. Basically, we decided on that because I played the card of "since you made me go to birthing class, I get to choose the tree." Now we had to choose which White pine we wanted. The first one I saw, Davina said was way too big for our house. See, this year, we have a new house with 12 foot ceilings, so I wanted to take advantage of the extra height. Anyway, the one I wanted actually was too big (even I could tell that), so we continued on. We found another one and I talked Davina into getting this one. This tree would be perfect.

Me and Davina with the tree that was supposed to be perfect. I didn't actually cut it down myself.

After we paid our $52 for the tree and had someone tie it on the top of the car, we headed home. I proceeded to cut the rope and bring the tree inside. Usually, I have no problem carrying the tree in the house, but when I removed the tree from the top of the car, I realized I had no leverage on this thing. I was swaying and trying to keep my balance until I finally dropped it right in the front yard. I had to get Davina to help me carry it in. It was quite an emasculating experience; you know, having your pregnant wife help you carry something. That being said, we managed to drag it into the house and drop it in the living room. It is at this point I realized how gigantic this tree actually was. It also was at this point, that Davina's mood took a turn for the worse. I run upstairs and get the tree stand and attempt to put it on the trunk of the tree...one problem: it's too small. It's actually way too small. I run to the garage and get a saw and begin "shave" some inches off the width of the trunk. In the process of this "shaving" I cut my left three times with the saw and begin to bleed on the floor and the tree. I wipe my hand on my jeans and, apparently, this is a big deal because Davina then scolds me for wiping my blood on my jeans because blood is hard to get out. I didn't take too kindly to this untimely criticism, so I said a few words back and continued to saw. After 45 more mintues and piles of sawdust in our living room floor, the tree stand still does not fit around the tree. I am now determined to get this damn tree up in our living room, so I head to Lowe's to get a tree stand big enough for the tree. I get to Lowe's and find one...for $55. I buy it because I just don't care anymore. I would've paid $550 for it just so I could get the tree up. I call Davina on my way out of Lowe's to see if she wants me to pick up anything to eat on the way home. I can tell she's not too happy right now, so I just tell her I'm coming straight home. In the meantime, some punk kid honks his horn at me because I didn't recognize the light was green. It was then that I sort of lost it. I pulled onto the road and then turned around and followed him to a parking lot. I pulled up beside him and asked if I knew him...you know, since he honked at me at all. "Oh no, sorry man, I accidentally hit my horn" was his response. Back home now, I get the tree in the stand and stand it up and begin cutting the net off the tree. As I am doing this, branches of the tree are flailing everywhere. They're hitting the walls, they're landing on the dining room table (that was supposed to be not in the way). The tree's so tall that we can't even cut all of the netting off. We had to get a broom and stand in a chair and lift it off. So, there it was in all its glory. It blocked the entire window and stood there like some out of place buffoon. I can't really think of any other way to describe it.

We survived that night, but we still haven't finished decorating it. Believe it or not, it actually looks pretty nice from the road as you're driving toward our house. Hopefully when we're done, I'll have some quality pics on here. It was a good memory for our last Christmas with just us here. I'm sure we'll have many more in the years to come.